Panache Blog

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I Need Balance

How much time should you devote to your children each day? How many hours in the office are too much?  How long should your workouts be? What priority is your spiritual practice and how many minutes do you devote to it each day?  After all that how much time is left to prioritize you?

Almost every lifestyle book you read and every magazine you open touts balance as the anecdote for the majority of today’s ills. People equate balance with internal harmony and so these sister acquisitions have become the new brass ring for every over-stressed person to grasp and hold on to for dear life. In the rabid chase for balance comes a perceived need to set concrete boundaries and rigid structures around tasks, jobs, pursuits, and desires. However, the more contracted you are about achieving your ideal “balance quotient” the more stressed you become. You’ve missed the entire point… balance is an internal state of being.

What if the quality of your life isn’t determined by the schedule you keep or the activities you devote time to each day? What if achieving balance is directly influenced by your beliefs? Here’s the truth. Balance is yours when you let go of the stories you’ve bought into that run like a Wall Street ticker just under the surface of everything you do. 

“Successful business women put their jobs first.”

“Good mothers don’t work this many hours.”

“Troubled children happen when marriages fall apart.”

“Enlightened people spend one hour meditating each day.”

“Beautiful women weigh 10 pounds less.”

Do any of these story lines sound familiar? It’s these false beliefs that create stress and cause vibrational blockages within your system further exacerbating your ability to find balance.

You see, balance is not about doing less. It’s not the gold star for managing your life more effectively. Balance and harmony are achieved when you are fully present with whatever you are doing. This means giving up the stories and the self-flagellation about what’s unfolding.

At work end the epic internal battle over a job that doesn’t align with the life you desire. Quit holding yourself hostage for not being at home with your children. Make the choice to be fully present with whatever project is at hand and step into nirvana. Or make the choice to hold yourself hostage because of the stories you tell yourself. One leads to balance while the other delivers dissatisfaction, stress, high blood pressure and ultimately disease. You’re 100 percent in charge. How empowering is that? 

When you’re at home with your partner or your children let go of the need to multitask. Put the cell phone down and the computer away. Give these individuals who are so important to you the full time and attention of your presence. Don’t think about work, deadlines, hair appointments or the 10 pounds that need to come off. Free yourself from the unwieldy yoke of stories about what it takes to be a good parent. Be present regardless whatever is unfolding and balance and harmony is yours.

When you are exercising drink in the experience. Feel your feet hitting the ground. Thank your body for supporting your functioning each and every day. Work up a sweat and savor the pain!  Or choose to throw yourself into internal dissonance by texting a to do list while power walking or creating a mental checklist of the upcoming doctor and dentist appointments that are 6 months late. Again your choice dictates the quality of your internal harmony.

And as for a spiritual practice, let every moment that you are fully present be your practice. Let life be your meditation. When you show up and are spacious you are honoring your inner divinity to the greatest degree.

Resist nothing and embrace everything as it unfolds. Accept life as it is. This simple act marks the eradication of stress and moves you into complete balance and harmony.

Posted at 1:22 pm  |  Send to a Friend