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How to Dissolve Anger in Your Relationships

Many people feel easily irritated by their spouse or partner. I’m often asked why this is, and the answer might shock you.

Understand that your anger and frustration in relationships is the result of cultural conditioning that tells us the person we’re with should somehow complete us. This belief causes suffering and disconnection from knowing how to meet your own needs and communicate them with ease.

We must fundamentally overhaul the very nature of relationships in order to truly understand the deeper transformational power that is available to us through engaging in them.

In this video, learn how to…

  • Move away from blaming your partner and take responsibility for your own emotions…
  • Stop setting your partner up for failure and find more freedom in your relationship…
  • See anger and frustration as an opportunity to address what’s unresolved within you…

Relationships are so much more expansive when you’re not dependent on the other to complete you. Creating spaciousness, peace and growth in your relationship is as simple as taking personal responsibility for your emotions.

Let go of the need for control and start creating a relationship rooted in authenticity.


Align With Your True Purpose and Create the Life You’ve Always Dreamed of With Ease. Get Your FREE Intro to Vibrational Transformation from Panache Desai, Vibrational Catalyst for Spiritual and Personal Transformation.

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Hi, I’m Panache Desai. I’m a contemporary thought leader and a Vibrational Catalyst and it has been my honor to support individuals like you from all over the world in moving into greater levels of love, health, peace and abundance.

I’m often asked by individuals in relationships, why they experience such a heightened level of anger in the presence of their partner?

More often than not we’ve been conditioned to believe that in some way our emotions are a result of the people that we are with. Well, I’d like to let you know that that simply isn’t true.

My sweet friends, we are only ever experiencing that which is unresolved within us and the reason why this heightened emotion shows up around a spouse or a partner is because that’s where we have the greatest level of expectation or projection in our lives.

Ultimately, I feel like we set our partners up to fail on a consistent basis because we expect them to be able to take care of us in a way that we’re not even willing to take care of ourselves.

We expect them to be able to meet all of our expectations, especially those that we have yet to fully articulate or even communicate and most importantly of all, we expect them to be grateful for things that they don’t even know that they’re supposed to be grateful for.

Ultimately, in relationships we’ve been provided an opportunity to step into personal empowerment and personal empowerment looks like no longer blaming the other for what is going on within you.

It looks like beginning to understand that everything in everyone outside of you is a manifestation or an experience of your own internal incompletion.

In Vibrational Transformation, we lovingly recognize that everyone in our lives is a mirror.

That we are simply playing a game of projection and reflection and that in any moment, when we begin to experience frustration or anger or resentment toward our spouse or our partner, in that moment we’re being given an opportunity to address whatever is unresolved within us to begin to bring into harmony the heightened emotion that we’ve been unwilling to feel or experience.

At a certain point, we have to let go of the need to control or the need to, in some way, manage outcomes and experiences.

At a certain point my sweet friends, especially in relationship, you have to have the courage to access a heightened level of vulnerability because it’s then and only then that you can create an authentic alignment with yourself and your partner.

The more you focus on yourself in your relationship, the more you are empowered to be in relationship.

So right now, in this moment, just begin to see if you can get present to where you are holding your spouse or partner hostage for something that you haven’t communicated, for something that you haven’t expressed, for something that in truth, you can only give to yourself.

We blame moments of overwhelm on the other.

We blame moments of anxiety on the other.

We blame, we blame, we blame, we blame, we blame and the more we do so we abide in victimhood.

The more we place our completion outside of us, the more we’re lost. So just begin to get clear about any and all expectations or hidden expectations that you have around your relationship that just simply aren’t being met and recognize and know this, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that you are the only person that can meet them, that you are the only person that can completely love you.

We must fundamentally overhaul the very nature of relationships in order to truly understand the deeper transformational power that is available to us through engaging in them.

What you’ll notice is that even if you leave behind a current partner or a current spouse and engage in a new relationship, once that hormonal sexual high has worn off; eventually the unconscious incompletions that began to color the love that was available to you in your past relationships begin to arise again.

You see my sweet friends; you are the common denominator in your relationship.

So right now in this moment, just take a breath, just allow your body to relax, just really receive what I am saying.

You have the capacity to disrupt the anger, the resentment and the frustration that you are feeling in the presence of your spouse and your partner and I guarantee you in doing so, you have the ability to transform your relationship.

Because on some level, energetically they can feel your frustration and your anger and I guaranteed that’s triggering every single way that they are not believing in themselves, every single way where they don’t have a foundation of love for themselves, it’s triggering insecurity and incompletion within them and of course what happens is you get stuck in this vicious cycle and there’s no escape from it until finally somebody has the courage to be accountable and responsible for their feelings.

So in relationships, it is not your partner’s job to make you feel good.

In relationships, it is not your partner or spouse’s job to make you feel loved.

In relationships, it is not your partner’s job to meet your needs.

In relationships, it is not your partner’s job to do or be anything other than simply be available in each moment for the experience of authentic partnership and alignment.

Authentic partnership and alignment of course, being rooted in completion; being rooted in the understanding and awareness that you are two whole and complete beings engaging in the exploration of love and relationship which makes it a choice instead of a necessity.

Just take a deep breath. I know for many of you, this flies in the face of everything that you’ve been told your whole life about relationships.

Many of you have bought into this false notion that other people have the ability to complete you only to discover that that leads to a heightened level of frustration and anger and irritation.

Anger and irritation is only ever present in the presence of inauthenticity and it is not the inauthenticity of another that you are reacting to. It is only ever your own inauthenticity, your own incompletion, your own judgment, your own lack of acceptance that you are bumping up against.

So right now, resolve to let your partner off the hook.

Understand that they’re dealing with their own set of limitations.

They’re living life through their conditioning, through their past experiences, through the way in which they were modeled relationship in their home.

They cannot possibly even begin to understand what relationship means to you because they have yet to understand what it means to them.

At that point, nurture and love all that you are because I promise you my sweet friends, that is the key to having a relationship that is rooted in peace, that is rooted in harmony and that is rooted in love.

Love doesn’t come with requirement. Love just is.

Love isn’t filled with expectation. Love just is.

Love isn’t rooted in need. Love just is.

The more you can begin to align with the love that is in your heart, the more you’ll transform your experience of your relationship from anger, resentment and irritation to harmony and peace and most importantly of all a depth of connection and intimacy.



Align With Your True Purpose and Create the Life You’ve Always Dreamed of With Ease. Get Your FREE Intro to Vibrational Transformation from Panache Desai, Vibrational Catalyst for Spiritual and Personal Transformation.