08 Nov The Number #1 Key to Disrupting Your Unconscious Behaviors
Nearly all of us have an energy, experience or emotion that we are avoiding in life. Fear, confrontation, shame, anger, and sadness are just a few examples. EVERYONE has a raw nerve or uncomfortable situation they feel the need to dance around- an unconscious response that makes them flee to their comforting distractions. And it is these distractions or behaviors that keep them from feeling or thinking about what scares, torments, or annoys them.
Distractions are unconscious repetitive cycles of behavior that are often self-destructive and rob us of our life force. Drinking, eating, shopping, gambling, working, the internet and social networking are all examples of distractions. Many times we hide in the darkness of our distractions and evade the emotions surrounding our reality. We feebly fight from under the bed and believe that every scary thing we perceive is a big bad monster waiting to destroy us. We remain in the shadows, full of potential and endless possibility that may never see it’s full luminosity realized.
But we can break the cycle and step into our brilliance if we choose to become aware of what it is we’re running from and what we’re running to.
What experience or feeling are you avoiding? How do you deal with this energy when you have no choice but to face it? Take a breath and identify it honestly because when you come into an awareness of what it is, you can begin to dismantle the pattern of behavior.
Here are two examples. Hillary gets angry about being passed over for a promotion at work. Instead of being available to the energy of anger, she runs to the fridge to avoid the experience of frustration, discomfort and anger. With a recognition and awareness of her distraction, “Wait. I’m eating only because I’m mad”, she is consciously taking the first step to end the destructive behavior, pattern and cycle. Now when she runs to the family-sized macaroni and cheese she'll at least know why.
John’s been married twice already and believes that happy thriving relationships aren’t in his skillset. After a long day at work, he has a disagreement with his wife, grabs a glass of wine and storms off to his bedroom to lose himself on the internet. He’ll do anything to avoid the feelings of sadness that are at the foundation of his experience. Drinking and social media are the distractions that keep him from experiencing the connectivity and intimacy he longs for. When he becomes aware that the wine and computer are merely a Band-Aid on a gaping emotional wound, he may begin to confront and work through his relationship woes.
Dare to Disrupt
In both cases, the awareness of the distraction allows you to be available for what’s really transpiring inside of you. Connect with the feeling. Stop, breathe, and get present to what you’re truly feeling. This is the conscious disruptor– the moment of truth that awakens you from your slumbering state of avoidance.
The conscious disrupter adds awareness to the unconscious cycle. Whenever you add awareness to a pattern that's unconscious, you're disrupting it-stopping it in its tracks with mindfulness. You want to either disrupt it when you're in the behavior (stuffing yourself with gooey mac and cheese or lost in LIKES on Facebook) or preferably before the behavior happens (while you’re staring at the food choices in the grocery store or before you grab the merlot and login to your social media account). Recognize and embrace where you go when things get tough. Awareness is the key to disrupting your distractions and protecting your peace.
The term “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” is a translation of a Chinese idiom that simply means “talented or extraordinary people hidden from view”. It is from a poem of the ancient Chinese poet Yu Xin that reads “behind the rock in the dark probably hides a tiger, and the coiling giant root resembles a crouching dragon.” In some of our dark places there are tigers, but we must face them. Some giant roots may look like dragons, but they’re just a shaded part of a beautiful tree. Until we consciously disrupt our distracting behavior, shine our Divine light, and become fully aware of where we turn when our rage, our panic, and our heartbreak takes hold of us, we will remain “talented, extraordinary people hidden from view.”
Do you have distractions you dance with? Are you aware of your vices and why you tango toward them? Join us in November and shift your energy from distraction to divine action.
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